Sitting arrangement: Round table formation. Each person was able to see and hear everyone else.
About me
I told the group about myself: Married with grown-up children, I bring experiences of raising a family. My education includes college and 25 years of work experience in many countries including South Africa, England, India, Indonesia, and the United States of America.
My coming to work in Lawton was not planned; it happened that I was out of work while living in the Washington DC area. One day I received a call asking if I wanted to work in Lawton. I said yes, then went to find a map to locate Lawton, Oklahoma. It was far, about 2,000 miles away.
During the period of two years without a job, I had few options. Although I put in many applications for job openings I was not considered for interviews, let alone job offers. Nevertheless, when I realized that work was not coming I enrolled in an online 4-year college degree program. I knew that one day the sun would shine again. For the moment the light might get dimmer. And the light got dimmer.
During the ensuing months and years of waiting and looking, I volunteered my time to work with non-profit organizations; I studied and did my homework.
Having lost my home to foreclosure, my car to repossession, and everything else of value that I owned I could only hold on to my dignity as a person, as head of my household, and to my faith, as a child of the Living God. By the time I came to Lawton in July 2012, I did not have much, but I was continuing steadily with my studies.
I stayed in the shelter for four months before moving out to rent an apartment. I continued studying by night.
On July 2, 2014, my family left the apartment we were renting and moved to a family house within Lawton. On July 26, I finally graduated with honors, receiving a Bachelor of Science in Management (BSM). I was rewarded for excellent performance in my studies.
What I offer the homeless shelter is an aggregate of all that I have achieved through education, training, and experience. Each of these is an added value. As Case Manager, it is my responsibility to receive everyone who comes to take shelter and to work with each person to reach his or her goals. Some goals, however, can remain hidden. My training in case management has equipped me to help people dig deeper and reach further in their lives. This class and others to come will help us all to learn from one another and to grow together. It is also a form of mentoring and coaching for the residents.
The purpose of the sessions
The purpose of these sessions is to cultivate the personal and professional growth of clients and residents of the shelter through educational and vocational training, fulfilling the whole purpose of the Salvation Army shelter. The purpose of the shelter is to serve the whole person, body, spirit, and mind without discrimination. The shelter provides a bed, a meal, a shower, and social support networking through case management. The shelter operation has written and unwritten rules. The Case Manager also lives by example.
Self-introductions: Participants numbered P1 through P5 were asked to introduce themselves one at a time. P2 was a lady.
Format of introductions: Name, family background, anything special about you, and why you are in the shelter.
P1, a 50-year-old man came to the shelter because he was unable to pay rent. His family situation was complicated. Separated from his wife, is left to care for his "child with special needs" which made it impossible for him to reorganize. He was in the shelter to reorganize. He had excellent professional training; he only needed space to rest and time to go out and find a job. He was very happy to be afforded time to speak. He was a recovering alcoholic.
P2 was a single 38-year-old lady who left a city 700 miles away to come and start over in Lawton. She was received by a friend who turned her out to the street. She lost everything she had and kept only the car. She wanted to find work desperately. She found the shelter by asking around. She emphasized her point that she did not want handouts; she was able-bodied, willing, and ready to work for herself. She was glad to be able to vent her feelings in the class. She felt somehow that she was being listened to. She said she was very angry about being taken for a ride by her so-called friends.
P3 was a 46-year man who recently came out of a recovery program from alcohol and drug addiction. He was evicted from a sister's house where he lived for a few months. Having nowhere to go he came across the shelter. He was very glad to be able to speak and to hear other stories of struggle and victory.
P4 was a 55-year-old man on a walking stick; he recently had an operation on his leg. He grew up on the street. He learned to survive; got some labor jobs, got paid for those. He bought a car; helped him to get around and do jobs until the car broke down. He lost his job, his livelihood, his home, and all. He left that city, traveled 40 miles to come to the shelter.
P5 was a young man of 28 who was thrown out by his sister. He was living in his sister's house with his girlfriend and two children. Now that he had nowhere to go he wanted desperately to find work, get an apartment, and bring his family together. He was very happy to be able to sit down and think.
Having finished with the self-introductions I put out the next question.
How did you find out about the shelter?
P1 said he was in this shelter previously; he knew about it.
P2 said she stumbled upon it in the directory of Lawton city venues.
P3 said he was walking along the road and came to the shelter almost by accident.
P4 was directed by people passing him along the road
P5 said the sister told him where to look.
When you first came to the shelter what did you expect? Any surprises?
Without exception, all said the first time they came to the shelter they were shocked to learn about the rules and to encounter people who were so strict in following the rules. Without exception, they said the rules were very hard because they were written in small print and there was no time to read them and internalize them. They were shocked to be told to go and do 6 job searches every day. They wondered why the shelter was so hard on them. They also said they understood it is nothing personal as such.
I also testified that the first time I walked into the shelter I was surprised because I had never been in a shelter to see for myself what goes on in there. I too did not know there were rules in the shelter. I probably thought they were like open hotels where people came and went at will.
Nevertheless, we all agreed that we were meeting to find strength in adverse circumstances and to make the most out of what happens to be very challenging situations.
Having covered nearly 90 minutes we concluded.
Our next class was scheduled for Tuesday afternoon for those who may not have found work by that time. While we were still in that room the phone rang and P2 received a job offer!
Noted: P5 alone named a church he is connected to and named the pastor helping him through counseling. I encouraged him to hold fast to that connection.
Quotable quotes from the conversation
P1: You can be a doctor and yet become homeless; life can bring circumstances that force you into it
P1: All I need is to regroup. I need space to recreate my situation afresh.
P3: When I was not in the shelter, I was not looking for work; I just sat there
P3: I am 6 months clean. No drugs, no alcohol
P2: Friends can disappoint; and then, nothing matters
P1: You never get anything by tucking your tail between your legs
P4: Losing your car is all you need to go down the slippery slope of the poor
I inquired from the participants if I could offer a prayer. All agreed. I prayed in the name of Jesus for our good success in our different journeys of life.
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